Is It Wrong to Be Upset When Your Boyfriend Talks Grossly About Other Women?

The Question of Emotion and Respect

It's natural to feel upset or annoyed when your boyfriend engages in inappropriate and gross remarks about other women, especially if he dismisses it as 'just locker room talk.' It's important to recognize that emotions are valid and should be acknowledged. However, it's equally important to understand that not everything warrants an extreme response.

Is Being Upset Justified?

Being upset is not wrong. In fact, it is a healthy reaction. But overreacting or reacting in a way that damages your self-esteem or the relationship can be unproductive. For example, if he insults traffic conditions and it makes you feel irritable, you don't immediately crash your car, right?

The key is to distinguish between harmless comments and harmful behavior. If your boyfriend is making inappropriate remarks, it's crucial to evaluate the message he is sending. Such comments can indicate a disrespectful attitude towards women, and this is something you should address openly and seriously.

The Harm of Disrespectful Comments

When your boyfriend argues that the remarks are merely 'locker room talk,' this is often a sign of insecurity or a lack of respect. A man who truly values women would not casually dismiss genuine issues of disrespect and objectification. It's important to realize that such comments have real consequences, not just within the confines of a locker room.

Consider whether you want to be with someone who dismisses basic human dignity and respect. It's these minor actions that can lead to bigger problems down the line. If you continue to be in a relationship where your partner minimizes the value of women, it can set a harmful precedent and impact trust and mutual respect.

Steps to Take

1. **Communicate Openly:** Voice your concerns to your boyfriend. Discuss why his behavior is problematic and ensure he understands the impact his actions have.

2. **Reconsider Your Relationship Goals:** If the comments continue and make you uncomfortable, it may be necessary to reassess whether this is the type of person you want to be in a long-term relationship with.

3. **Seek Support:** Surround yourself with friends and family who support your well-being. It's important to have a supportive network, especially during challenging times.

Conclusion

Being upset when your boyfriend makes inappropriate comments about women is a valid emotion that should be recognized. However, it's how you handle that emotion and whether the behavior continues to bother you that matters most. Ultimately, the decision to stay or go depends on whether your relationship values and respects both partners equally.