Navigating Manipulative Relationships: A Guide for Handling Takers in Your Professional Network

Have you ever wished for something on your birthday and noticed that your colleagues didn't reciprocate? Or have you felt taken advantage of by people in your professional network, who only reach out when they need help? These experiences can be frustrating and even hurtful. In this article, we will discuss how to handle individuals with a takers' mindset in your professional relations and how to maintain your self-worth in these interactions.

Understanding the psychology behind takers

The principle of what you sow, you shall reap is a valuable lesson in life. For every positive action we take, there should be a positive return. However, in some situations, this does not always hold true, especially when dealing with people who have a takers' mindset. These individuals often fail to recognize the value they receive from others and prioritize their own needs at the expense of others.

Identifying a taker in your professional network

Recognizing a taker in your professional network is essential before you can effectively handle the situation. Takers are often characterized by their tendency to solicit help and resources from others without providing any form of reciprocation. They may (1) neglect to acknowledge or thank you for your assistance, (2) take advantage of your skills and knowledge without offering to return the favor, (3) seek help on a regular basis, or (4) show jealousy towards your success and skills.

Addressing the issue: Strategies for handling takers in your professional network

It's important to set clear boundaries and communicate your expectations effectively. Here are some strategies to help you handle individuals with a takers' mindset:

Communicate your boundaries: Let your colleagues know that you are willing to help, but you expect something in return. Be specific about what you are willing to do and what you are not. For example, if someone seeks frequent help, you might say, 'I will be here to assist you, but I need you to also take on some responsibility when you can.'

Set clear expectations: Regularly remind them of the value they are receiving and ask for acknowledgment or reciprocation. This can be done during one-on-one conversations or in a group setting, such as the group chat where you communicate with your colleagues.

Focus on relationships with genuine care: While it's important to maintain helpfulness, prioritize the relationships with colleagues who genuinely care about you. These are the individuals who are more likely to reciprocate the effort.

Monitor your interactions: Keep track of the help provided and the reciprocation received. This can help you identify if someone is consistently taking without giving.

Dealing with jealousy in the workplace

Jealousy can be a significant issue when dealing with takers. Colleagues who are jealous of your skills and achievements may exploit your generosity or try to undermine your success. Addressing this can be challenging, but it's crucial to your well-being and professional growth.

Stay professional: Maintain a professional demeanor in all your interactions and avoid escalating the situation. Focus on your own progress and seek support from trusted colleagues or mentors.

Seek support: If the situation becomes too overwhelming, discuss your concerns with a trusted supervisor or a human resources representative. They can provide guidance and potentially address any underlying issues within the organization.

Develop a thicker skin: Recognize that jealousy can come from various sources and that it is a natural human emotion. Focus on your own growth and be resilient in the face of negativity.

Conclusion

Dealing with takers in your professional network can be challenging, but setting clear boundaries, focusing on genuine relationships, and addressing jealousy are crucial steps in maintaining your self-worth. Remember, your time and effort should be valued by those around you. By prioritizing positive interactions and setting clear expectations, you can foster a more balanced and fulfilling professional environment.