Navigating Uncomfortable Relationships Post-Kiss

Jeff, a good friend, kissed me, and interestingly, he subsequently denied having done it. This kind of actions often leave us feeling bewildered and unsure of what to do next.

Understanding the Situation

So, you specifically asked what you should do, and there is no straightforward answer. However, taking the time to process this situation is essential. It's crucial to allow both yourself and your relationship to have some space. Honesty is key in such circumstances.

First, you should be clear about your feelings. This isn’t just about being vague or avoiding the topic; it’s about openly discussing your emotions and setting boundaries. Share your feelings with Jeff, ensuring that you express them in an honest and non-accusatory manner:

“Jeff, I’m not sure how I feel about you romantically, and I need some time to think about it.”

It’s important to avoid assigning labels like 'friend zone' unless you are certain that you do not want to pursue a romantic relationship. If you are unsure, it's perfectly normal. People develop romantic interests at different times, and this is nothing out of the ordinary.

Personal Reflection and Advice

Consider this as a significant life lesson: you should never feel obliged to like someone just because they like you. Guilt or obligation should never form the basis of any relationship. Sometimes, one friend might be ready for a romantic relationship, while the other is not. It’s common for one person to move on to someone else, especially when one is not ready for a change.

Providing Support and Patience

Be Kind to Yourself and Your Best Friend

“Be kind to yourself and your best friend. Give yourself the gift of patience and ask for patience from them.”

It’s crucial to take time to think without overthinking or driving yourself crazy. Avoid judging your feelings and consider them without preconceptions. No matter what you decide, it’s important to stay true to yourself and your comfort level. Remember, deep breaths are a good starting point for handling any situation.

Re-evaluating the Friendship

Friends with Benefits Zone

Now, you and Jeff are in a ‘friends with benefits’ zone, a term that carries its own pros and cons. Consider carefully whether to continue down this path or revert to a strictly platonic relationship. This arrangement can be complicated and may lead to misunderstandings.

Back Off or Continue

Option 1: Back Off

One approach is to back off from Jeff for a while, especially if you have feelings for him. Apart from the occasional conversation to clarify any confusion, limit your interactions. Essentially, you go the opposite route of pursuing him.

However, if Jeff and his girlfriend are not stable and a breakup seems imminent, choose to act as if nothing happened. Continue to be your normal self, but avoid any form of physical contact that might cause awkwardness. Remember, if he enjoyed it, maintain a professional demeanor.

Option 2: Maintain as Friends with Benefits

Another option is to move forward with a friend-with-benefits arrangement if both of you are comfortable with it. Consider the pros and cons of this arrangement, and decide based on your mutual agreement.

Remember, the key is clear communication, mutual respect, and staying true to your own boundaries.

Conclusion

Ultimately, the best course of action is to prioritize your feelings and the health of your relationship. Whether you decide to continue as friends or take a different path, be honest with yourself and Jeff. Trust your instincts and take the time to reflect. This is a significant period of self-discovery, and it’s important to handle it with patience and maturity.