Pronoun Usage with Drag Queens: A Guide for Respect and Empathy

In the ever-evolving landscape of gender identity and expression, one important aspect is the use of appropriate pronouns. This is especially true for drag queens, who, despite performing in a traditionally male-dominated act, often carry complex and evolving identities both on and off stage. Understanding the correct pronouns to use when referring to or speaking about drag queens is crucial for demonstrating respect and empathy.

The Nature of Drag Performance

Drag queens are performers who enhance their physical appearance with costumes, makeup, and accessories to embody a character of the opposite or different gender. Unlike gender identity, drag is primarily a performance art form. This distinction is important when considering the appropriate pronouns to use.

Referring to the Performer vs. the Character

When discussing the person performing, it is generally appropriate to use pronouns that align with their biological sex or preferred pronouns, such as he/him or she/her. However, when referring to the character they are playing, the most respectful approach is to use pronouns that align with the gender of the character, such as she/her for a feminine character or he/him for a masculine one. If the performer is non-binary, they/them can also be used.

Second-Person Pronouns

When addressing a drag queen directly, second-person pronouns like you or your are absolutely appropriate. This ensures clear communication and avoids any potential confusion.

Third-Person Pronouns

When speaking about a drag queen to someone else, the choice of pronouns becomes nuanced. You have several options depending on the context:

Consistent with their biological sex: Use pronouns like he/him if the queen identifies as male, or she/her if the queen identifies as female. Consistent with the character they portray: Use pronouns that match the gender of the character, such as she/her for a feminine character or he/him for a masculine one. Singular "they": Pronouns like they/them can be used if the queen identifies as non-binary or if you are uncertain.

Context Matters

The specific circumstances also play a crucial role in determining the pronouns to use. Here are some considerations:

In drag: Use the pronouns that match the character they are portraying. Off stage: Use the pronouns the performer prefers, as they may have a different identity outside of the performance. If unsure: Always ask, as the most respectful approach is to respect the individual's preferences.

Acceptable Pronoun Sets

Drag queens often have a wide range of preferences regarding their pronouns. Some examples include:

Cis-identified performers: Some use she/hers in drag and he/him at other times, or vice versa. Non-binary performers: Some prefer he/him, she/her, or they/them at all times. Wider spectrum performers: Some individuals may use ze/hir or other gender-neutral options.

Using it as a pronoun is almost universally considered disrespectful and dehumanizing. It is important to respect the autonomy and identity of each individual.

Community Context and Preferences

People who perform drag have diverse identities and motivations. Some may cross-dress for spectacle, professionally, or as a form of self-expression. Understanding the context can help in using the most appropriate pronouns.

Respect and Empathy

While respect and empathy are key, it is also important to note that occasional mistakes are understandable. If you find yourself confused or unsure, simply asking the person for their preferred pronouns is a sign of genuine care and respect.

In conclusion, the approach to pronoun usage with drag queens is a reflection of one's understanding and respect for the complexities of gender identity and expression. By staying informed and asking when necessary, you can contribute to a more inclusive and respectful community for all.