Unveiling the Truth Behind Envy: Why Facebook Friends’ Well-Being Makes Us Feel Depressed

The root of the word jealousy is "louse". Yes, the plural is "lice". It's an ugly bug that destroys your brain. It will eat you alive. If you cannot rid yourself of this obsession, then get professional help. Basically, it requires gratitude and much therapy. Myself, I rely on the "Desiderata". It is a wise doctrine of life worth living. It states, "If you compare yourself with others, you may become vain and bitter, for always there will be greater and lesser persons than yourself."

Understanding the Downfall of Comparisons on Social Media

It's important to understand that there is no way to know your friends' well-being by looking at their Facebook photos. Most people who use Facebook and post tons of selfies or pictures of themselves being in a blissful state are just sharing a moment of happiness, not their entire life.

Why Envy Puts You on a Deeper Ditch

What really worries you is why you feel depressed when you see someone else doing something that makes them happy. Perhaps you want to do things yourself but your mindset tyrannizes you, and it does not allow you to feel comfortable socializing or engaging in new friendships and relationships. It's not about well-being but the image of well-being that makes you depressed. Your unconscious brain is smart enough to sense that what you're seeing is unattainable, but your conscious mind is not aggressive enough to actively come out and think about it. You will never be as happy as the happiness that a picture can convey.

Unattainable Happiness on Social Media

The people in the picture probably weren't even as happy as you're imagining. Their status updates don't often belie the facade of their perfect lives. Over time, it starts looking like you are the only person in the world with secret struggles, and that's pretty depressing.

Ethics Behind Facebook Sharing

This phenomenon arises because people mostly post the good parts of their lives on Facebook. They might still complain about having a bad day, but you will almost never see their secret struggles or the things they're ashamed of. You can see that stuff in your own life, but you can't see it in other people's lives unless you're really close to them or they are extremely open.

A study by Nicolas E. Christakis and James H. Fowler published in PLOS ONE highlights the phenomenon of social influence and its impact on our emotions. They found that a friend's happiness can make you happy, but when your friend is happy, it can also make you feel envious if you are comparing yourself with them.

Practical Tips to Combat Envy

Instead of comparing yourself with others, try focusing on your own well-being and happiness. Here are some practical steps to help you:

Gratitude Rituals

Start your day by writing down three things you are grateful for. This shifts your focus from what you lack to what you have, promoting a more positive mindset.

Engage in Mindfulness

Meditation and mindfulness practices can help you stay present and avoid getting caught up in comparisons. Even a few minutes a day can make a significant difference.

Seek Professional Help

If jealousy and envy are severely impacting your life, consider seeking help from a therapist. They can provide strategies and tools to help you overcome these feelings.

Connect with Others

Engage in meaningful conversations with others. This can help you build stronger, more authentic relationships and reduce the feeling of isolation.

The Wisdom of Desiderata

The Desiderata by Max Ehrmann speaks of living a life of purpose and grace. Remember, 'strive for joy, and be strong in hope' even when you meet with difficulties. Embrace the journey, and don't let the momentary happiness of others cloud your perception of what success and happiness mean for you.