When It's Okay to Share That You're Not Doing Okay

Is it okay to tell someone that you're not doing okay? The short answer is a resounding yes! Sharing your feelings is a healthy way to cope with difficult emotions and can help you feel supported. It's important to communicate openly with trusted friends or family members, who can provide understanding and encouragement. Everyone goes through tough times, and reaching out for support is a sign of strength.

Telling Someone You're Struggling

It's okay not to be okay, and it's okay to say so. When you tell someone the truth, they might even find a solution for you. Being honest is part and parcel of a true friendship, and it shows that you value their input. However, be mindful of how you communicate your struggles. Ensure you don't prevent them from sharing their thoughts and feelings with you. Break the news gradually and be clear about the circumstances.

Choosing Your Confidants Wisely

Not every friend is ready to hear about your struggles, but if you have a trusted confidant who respects your privacy, it’s perfectly okay to share. There could be reasons why your friend is checking up on you. Perhaps they’ve noticed something amiss or are genuinely concerned about your wellbeing. If the relationship is strong and built on trust, it's advisable to let them know about your struggles.

Handling the Inquiry

If someone inquires about your well-being, how you respond will depend on the nature of your relationship and your level of comfort. You’re not obligated to share more than you feel comfortable with. Here are some ways to handle these inquiries:

Be generic and non-committal: Give a short, non-specific answer without going into great detail. Be honest but brief and without detail: Acknowledge that things are tough but avoid creating a narrative. Completely gloss over their question: Provide a socially acceptable response to avoid detailed explanations. Deflect their questions: Change the topic to something else to keep the conversation light. Use humor: Employ colorful analogies to describe your current situation. Deep conversation: If you trust the person, schedule a time to have an in-depth discussion.

Remember, it’s your choice to share your inner thoughts, feelings, and challenges. Oversharing can make you vulnerable to manipulative individuals. Most importantly, thank those who care about you for checking in:

“Thank you so much for thinking of me. I'm doing fine. How about you?” “Thanks for the call/text. Things have been stressful lately but I'm hanging in there.” “I've had better months. I'm feeling a bit like a cat caught in a downpour.” “Same old, same old. You know how it goes. There are ups and downs.” “It's really nice to hear from you. Thanks for reaching out. Things have been challenging lately. I don't want to get into it right now but if I feel like venting, I'll let you know.” “Work is crushing but my garden is doing great. What have you been busy with lately?” “Thanks for reaching out. I've been swamped. I could really use somebody to talk to. Can we get together/have a video call sometime soon?” “Oh my gosh! I'm so glad you called. I'm totally overwhelmed. Do you have time for me to get into things right now?”

Conclusion

Is there a better place to share your struggles? Consider your journal or a therapist. Before you share, think about who you’re talking to, how much you trust them, and the potential consequences. Be mindful of your privacy and ensure the conversation remains a positive and supportive one.

Remember, it’s okay to share that you’re not doing okay. Communication is key, and it’s always better to be honest and vulnerable in the presence of supportive loved ones.