Chasing Loneliness: The Will to Be Alone in Adulthood

Introduction

Is it okay to embrace solitude as an adult, rather than seek out new friendships or social connections? It is a question that has perplexed many, and the answer may seem contradictory. While some argue that making friends is essential for human happiness, others claim that contentment can be found in solitude. This article delves into the intricacies of this topic, exploring the differences between chosen and imposed loneliness, and the profound impact of social connections on our lives.

Championing Solitude as a Choice

Many individuals find joy in solitude, enjoying the freedom from social obligations and the company of others who may be more demanding. This can be a testament to their independence and resilience. As one person wisely puts it, 'I haven’t made a new friend in many years and I’m great with that. The fewer people I have wanting things from me the happier I get.' This perspective highlights the value of inner peace over external validation.

Exploring Why Some Avoid Friends

Others might find themselves in a situation where they have little to no friends out of necessity or by choice. The absence of meaningful social connections can lead to feelings of loneliness, which can be mentally and emotionally taxing. Some justify their decision by claiming they have no time for friends due to overwhelming work or personal life commitments. However, others may deliberately avoid making friends, viewing them as a source of inconvenience.

The Power of True Friendships

When we have true friends, the benefits are immeasurable. However, not everyone has that luxury. Those who consider themselves friendless might have acquaintances who are more interested in their own needs rather than fostering a genuine bond. This can taint the perception of friendship and make it difficult to form lasting relationships. It is important to distinguish between fake friends and genuine friendships, as the former can be damaging to one's emotional wellbeing.

The Dangers of Imposed Loneliness

Not all loneliness is a choice. The kind of isolation experienced when social interactions are forcibly removed or snatched away can be particularly damaging. As Carl Jung so wisely observed, 'It is not good for a human being to be alone.' This kind of loneliness arises from a lack of meaningful connections and can lead to feelings of worthlessness and despondency. It is essential to recognize the importance of social interactions in our emotional and mental health.

Communicating and Understanding

To truly understand and appreciate the value of friendship, one must be able to communicate effectively. As Jung continued, 'Loneliness is not necessarily inimical to companionship for no one is more sensitive to companionship than the lonely man and companionship thrives only when each individual remembers his individuality and does not identify himself with others.' This highlights the importance of recognizing one's own individuality and the value of allowing others to do the same.

Conclusion: There is no one-size-fits-all answer to whether it is okay to be alone as an adult. While some find contentment in solitude, others may struggle with loneliness and the absence of meaningful social connections. Ultimately, it is about finding a balance that suits one's individual needs and circumstances. Whether you choose to embrace solitude or seek out new friendships, the key is to be true to yourself and prioritize your emotional and mental wellbeing.