Socializing
Peer Groups and Their Influence on Personal Journey
Peer Groups and Their Influence on Personal Journey
When one loses awareness or aligns with groups without the proper personal or spiritual level of consciousness, the possibility of starting the wrong journey in life emerges. This concept is particularly poignant for individuals who are inadequately supported by their family and community. This article explores the impact of peer groups on personal development, highlighting the challenges faced by individuals who did not receive adequate guidance and support during critical periods of their lives.
When and Why Peer Groups May Deraign the Path
The adverse effects of misguided peer groups can be profoundly detrimental. My own experience provides a stark example of how peers can exacerbate insecurities and contribute to a difficult personal journey. Growing up with Asperger's Syndrome and being perceived as 'different,' I faced relentless bullying from classmates from a young age. This continued from fourth grade until the end of high school, shaping a narrative of struggle and isolation that persisted into adulthood.
A New Beginning: University and New Friends
Transitioning to university in a non-colonial society, such as indigenous white South Africa, marked a significant turning point. Here, the basis for discrimination against me by my fellow English-speaking peers diminished. Instead of discrimination, I formed new, supportive friendships. These friends accepted me unconditionally, without any need to alter or accept additional points about me. Their innate kindness further encouraged me to be a part of their social group, fostering a sense of belonging and normalcy that had previously been elusive.
The Role of Parental Influence and Peer Bullying
Despite these positive experiences, the influence of parental actions, or inactions, is not to be overlooked. In my case, both my parents were grandiose narcissists with a lack of understanding regarding the Asperger's insecurities of my family members. My father, in particular, repeatedly instructed us to "snap out of it" and to stand up for ourselves. His criticism serves as a stark example of projecting onto others the very insecurities he harbored; he was no stranger to bullying and abuse himself, using a mask to hide his true vulnerabilities.
The move from Zimbabwe to South Africa, where my mother was born, further challenged me. My mother's upbringing in a wealthy private school background, marked by a distant and selfish mother, set the stage for a tumultuous period in my life. Being thrown into boarding school at a young age and then cast out by her, my mother viewed her time there as a defining moment of her restoration and success. However, this left me feeling like a pariah, even more so when my Afrikaans background and living at home did not protect me from relentless bullying. This experience led to the development of OCD and hair-pulling, which only worsened my already battered self-esteem.
The Impact on Personal Relationships and Identity
The trauma of these experiences did not stay confined to my interactions in the classroom. Teachers, especially the English ones, joined the ranks of my bullies, exacerbating the emotional and psychological toll. Over time, I lost all friends except for a single, trusted one. My father's behavior exacerbated this by projecting his own insecurities and fear of being perceived as a father with "defective" children. His cruel actions and lack of support shattered my identity, reducing me to a compliant, submissive figure, lost in his twisted version of reality.
Despite these challenges, the impact of being embraced and accepted by a supportive group of friends provided a unique opportunity for healing and growth. It underscores the importance of having a solid support network during challenging times. Understanding the dynamics of peer groups and their influence on personal development is crucial, especially for those navigating the often tumultuous waters of adolescence and beyond.
Conclusion
The experiences shared here highlight the importance of a supportive environment in personal development and the potential harm that can result from misguided peer influence. It is essential to recognize the vulnerabilities of individuals who are perceived as different and to provide them with the necessary support and understanding. Through this journey, I have come to understand that the impact of misguided peer groups can be profoundly transformative, whether in a negative or positive way, depending on the circumstances and the support one receives.