The Complexity of Choosing Not to Have Children in Marriage

Deciding to have a lifelong partnership without children is a deeply personal choice that can bring both joy and challenges. For many, the reason for this choice is not a lack of love for one's partner or hatred for children, but rather a desire for a simpler life or a more fulfilling relationship built around the two of them alone. This article explores the reasons behind choosing to marry without children and the potential downsides of this choice, including legal and financial challenges.

Why Some Choose to Marry Without Children

Deciding to marry without having children is a choice that many couples make with careful consideration. Some choose this path because they feel that a partnership is sufficient, and raising children would add unnecessary burdens to their lives. Others might simply not be in a position to have a child, for a variety of reasons.

In the case of the author, her late husband and she never wanted children. Their 57-year partnership was based solely on a deep love for each other. They travelled, worked for their community, and enjoyed each other's company, but never felt the desire to add the burden of children to their lives. They believed this was the perfect marriage for them.

The Challenges of a Marriage Without Legal Recognition

Although the choice to marry without having children can be fulfilling, it can also come with legal and financial challenges. The author points out that being legally married can make life easier, including issues related to insurance, taxes, bereavement leave, and more.

Insurance and Benefits

One significant drawback of not being married is the lack of insurance benefits. In the United States, only a legally married spouse and children can be covered under an individual's insurance plan. The author mentions that she and her partner were unable to cover each other, which can be a significant financial burden.

Taxes and Finances

Taxes also play a critical role in the financial lives of couples. The author mentions that being married can often result in lower tax liabilities, even if both individuals earn the same income. She states that being unmarried can result in paying more in taxes. This can be a significant factor in the decision to marry if the couple is in a financial position to do so.

Bereavement Leave and Legal Issues

In the event of a partner's death, the lack of legal recognition can also lead to complications. Bereavement leave is typically available only to spouses, and legal documents are required for an unmarried partner to make medical decisions for a incapacitated partner. These issues can be emotionally and legally taxing.

Legal and Property Rights

Even mundane aspects of life, such as renting a home, can be more challenging for an unmarried couple. Landlords might be hesitant to rent to couples who are not legally married, and proof of financial independence is often required. In some cases, unmarried couples may face legal barriers to obtaining medications or property.

Benefits of Being Unmarried

While there are certainly challenges to being unmarried, there are also potential benefits. For the author, the most significant benefit of being unmarried was her partner's ability to manage his debt without affecting her assets. This aspect of the relationship highlighted the importance of clarity and mutual support in navigating financial challenges.

In conclusion, the decision to marry without having children can be a deeply personal one that involves careful consideration of the benefits and challenges. For some, it can lead to a more fulfilling and simpler life, while for others, it can bring significant legal and financial complications. It is ultimately a choice that should be made based on the unique circumstances and values of the individuals involved.